A few weeks ago, I lost my purse, carrying pieces of my life (passport included) inside. Since, I've been on the hunt for a new wallet and/or purse. Believe it or not, yo' girl does not have a single designer bag, except the Kate Spade purse that I had bought off my sister and now wandering somewhere in the world with pieces of someone else's life inside. My idea of a designer bag is a practical Osprey backpacking bag and my daily Timbuk2 backpack that converts to a pannier for my bike. As you can see, I'm not the fanciest gal.
However, this does not mean that I don't want designer purses. Let's be real: I like nice things. For awhile, I've been practicing this thing where I only buy things that bring me joy, not because "it'll work" or because "it's a good deal," but because it is EXACTLY what I've been looking for. Today, I found a "good enough" wallet for a "good deal," but I decided to put it back down because I was willing to hold out for EXACTLY what I want. A few blocks away, I found THE EXACT purse that I've been wanting for for a year now: a simple cross-body bag with gold details in the perfect shade of pink.
Now, what do I do when I find it? The voices in my head started to converse. I begin to doubt if this purse (that I've been looking for) is something that I really want. "Do I really wanna spend that much money on a purse?" I even looked at a black bag thinking that it would be more practical because it matches everything, and it won't get dirty as fast. Looking for reasons why I shouldn't get the purse that I had been looking for for so long. Mind you! That this purse is half off the original retail price. And that all my shit is stuffed into the side pocket of my backpack. Really though, am I ever gonna come across this exact bag again? I held it in my hands, looked at it, caressed it a bit and it made me happy. So, I got it. I spent a whole $164.37 for my new Elizabeth and James cross-body with gold details in the perfect shade of pink.
I know it's not that much, but this has been my paradigm: that my happiness was not worth $164.37. (But I'd spend that much or more in one day going out on food and drinks. Silly girl.)
Then I think about my relationship with men. How many times have I overlooked a guy because I either settled for "good enough" or I didn't think I was good enough for 'em? I guess when it comes down to it, I've just gotta be patient AND also be able to see Him when exactly what I've been waiting for is right in front of my face.