The Realization That Teaching Yoga Isn't My Calling
There was a time when all I wanted to be was a yoga teacher. So you know what I did? I taught yoga. I taught yoga to anyone who wanted to learn. I taught yoga in my living room, at the Boys & Girls' Club, at community gyms and even on the dance floor of night clubs. I've taught in hotels and hotel rooms, private gyms and actual yoga studios. I've taught friends, coworkers and strangers. I've taught yoga to a prince, corporate executives and my boss. I would rush to work right after teaching a yoga class and then wake up four hours later, after working a graveyard shift, just for the opportunity to teach a yoga class. I've worked the front desk of a yoga studio just to be around yoga. I even traveled across the world to do yoga, teach yoga and learn how to teach yoga. I hustled and gave up sleep so that I could do the thing that I wanted to do most: teach yoga.
Why'd I do it? I loved and love teaching yoga. I love teaching yoga because it was an opportunity to empower another person--to teach virtues like patience, courage and curiosity. It was a space to challenge people to make them stronger or to stretch them to be more flexible. It was a vehicle, a platform and a means to inspire or simply to ignite a spark. I loved it when people laughed and even when they cried. I could bring whatever I wanted to bring into the space giving people space to be whomever they wanted to be on the mat. It was my classroom for that hour.
Almost exactly three years ago, I completed my 200 Hour RYT (teacher training at @expandyoga, which I HIGHLY recommend if you get the opportunity). Three years, many workshops and a lot more money spent later, my yoga teaching skills are no better than they were when I was teaching regularly in Tacoma. WTF, right? I should be teaching a regular schedule in the city by now! But then I realized that teaching yoga isn't my ultimate. It's not my calling. It's a part of it, but it's not It. How do I know? Because I'm not willing to do what I was once capable of doing to do it again. My desire is no longer the same. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
I think we can get caught up with ideas about what we once wanted, spending precious years of our lives chasing a small part of a dream missing out on a world of possibilities that awaits. I'm not sure what life will look like in a year or even this Spring, but I do know that I don't need to go chasing a calling, a calling will find me. My job is to be prepared for when it shows up and presents itself.