How I Knew I Was Ready TO BE In A Relationship

When people think of the idea of “being single,” they might assume that I spent 10 years either chasing men or chasing them away. Needless to say, both were very true. While I’ve gotten ghosted, rejected and my heart broken, I’ve also fallen in love, been in relationships and broken a few hearts as well.

You see, my relationship status was single for a long time—but in some ways, I was always in a relationship. Whether it was with a guy that I met traveling, my best-friend or myself, I took the opportunity of being single to learn how to be in relationships and to learn about myself in order to confront the blindspots of my shadow-self—and to love every bit of her to point where insecurities became nearly obsolete.

That was when I knew it was time to be in a high stakes, committed relationship where I couldn’t avoid intimacy, vulnerability and those insecurities that aren’t there in the single status. I had reached a point in my life where I maxed out my learning alone. I hit the glass ceiling of personal growth. It was time to expand and stretch in the ways in which are uncomfortable, almost painful. It was time to grow within a committed partnership.

Intuitively and instinctually, I knew that being in a relationship was what was next in my spiritual growth. The opportunity showed up, and I resisted him for a year and a half. Then finally one day a voice gently whispered, “Give him a chance.”

I figured that God wouldn’t set me up with someone if there wasn’t anything that I could learn or get out of it. So, I took a leap of faith and gave US a chance—and my life has only been on an upward trajectory since.

They say “you know when you know”. (Whatever the f*ck that means.) I thought I knew when I knew with other guys. The difference with him was timing. A girlfriend once said to me that I would find him when the stars aligned. While I’m not sure if it was the stars or if it was our own manifestation, the timing was perfect because we both were in alignment with our purpose—and living in alignment with our word. The closer we got to alignment, the closer we got to each other. All it took was the awareness to notice and the courage to discover. It only took me 32 years.

In all honesty, I still question whether or not if he’s “The One.” Then I think of the years of conditioning where I was taught that “The One” would rescue me or make me a princess and remember that I don’t need to be rescued nor do I want to live the caged life of a princess. Instead, I remind myself that I am The One. I am The One who gets to say. I am the one who chooses him over and over and over again—day by day, minute by minute, moment by moment.

Ranny KangComment