Ep. 6: Why are you single?
When I started this podcast, I wanted to create a space for conversation amongst the outcasts, the misfits and the unconventional people who don’t necessarily fit into the standard mold. I wanted to talk about shit that really matters and to question cultural beliefs and mainstream ideas of what it means to live a good and meaningful life. In some ways, being single as a 30-something-year-old woman in a world where I should’ve been married with a few kids is my way of rebelling against conventional norms. At the same time, resistance is not the reason why yo’ girl is single. Instead, I choose to see single as an opportunity—an opportunity to do whatever the fuck I want until it’s time for me to commit to a life-partner, kids and anything else that requires my energy, time and resources.
It’s not a new thing when people ask, “Why are you single?” It feels good when they follow up with “cause you’re so pretty” or “you’re such a good catch”—but there’s a part of me that wants to gag, especially when I sense a bit of pity. This thinking perpetuates the idea that my worth as a woman and as a human being needs to be validated by my relationship status and how many kids I can pop out. Fuck that. I’m here to tell all of the women (and men) who happen to be single, 30-something or not, that single is not a bad thing. Lets be clear: I’m not pro-single-life, but I do think that it’s possible to empower any situation or circumstance (like one’s relationship status) by shifting the context in which one chooses to see it. In other words, we don’t have to struggle in the singleness. We can learn how to take advantage of this opportunity to be in the most important relationship we will ever have in our lives—the one with ourselves.
As always, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of the love and kind words of affirmation and praise. I work really hard to produce content that I hope is of value. The best compliment that ya’ll can give is to share 30-Something And Single with your people, your community and yo’ tribe by posting it on your social media and spreading the word. I love you, all.